In Their Image: Marriage

In The Image and Likeness of God: Marriage

Our fourth son Peter is getting married this year to a delightful young woman whose name is Merci. We are all very excited. Peter is showing real maturity and appears to be accepting that his levels of responsibility are greatly increasing. The excitement is very tangible and so is this sense of growing maturity. As a father I find it all very satisfying, life is advancing ..

I have had a very high regard for marriage since my teen years. Now that I'm Christian I've also come to complete acceptance that marriage, children and families are a vital part of God's plan.

When I was about 15 I saw an older couple walking on the beach at sunset. They were holding hands and talking. Clearly they belonged together. This was a formative moment for me, I knew that this is where I wanted to be one day, and to have lived all the years that would have contributed to this lovely moment.

Around that same time I heard a wise person say "marriage is a conversation". Although I was a typical teenager at the time, something in me knew that this also was a formative moment. These words have been proven true to me time after time. Open and active communication is vital to a solid marriage. Trish and I have been on communications courses so that we continue to grow in our many-faceted "conversation"!

Now I can say that Trish’s and my marriage is one of the really good things about my life. (Trish tells me that it is the same for her). It's hard work too, but great. We've found that "love" and "marriage" are both doing words, they take much effort and require forward movement.

As humans, we hold the top position in the Creation: "God created humankind in their own image and likeness .. and behold, it was very good” (Genesis 1:27,31), the earlier parts of the Creation were simply called "good", and they are good, right?

We tend to regard the physical as our primary home; we use our five senses minute by minute and often forget about our spiritual life and the senses which let us "see" spiritually. Until my spiritual senses were developed, (which was not hard to do but did take prayer, effort and much time), I could not see much spiritual at all, it was very frustrating being with others who could see, specially as I felt I knew the Creator and His Creation well, and His Scriptures.

The Bible tells us "God is spirit" (John 4:24), "God is love" (1 John 4:16), "God is eternal" (Jude 1:25), "God is truth" (Psalm 31:5), "God is just" (2 Thessalonians 1:6), "God is kind" (Luke 1:78). (You can each add more lovely attributes of God which you've affirmed from your own lives). All of these qualities can only be seen in relationship; so God is first of all relational. We see this first in the God-head, then in the Creation.

God of the Bible is three yet one. One God and three Persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, inseparable. They always love one another, give to each other and work together, each contributing from His unique qualities. In many places the Scriptures call God "Elohim", a Hebrew plural word, plural because the writers knew that God was not simply one. (Hebrew was the original language of the Old Testament, and Greek the original language of the New Testament).

The constant and eternal closeness of Father, Son and Spirit is called perichoresis, this word can only be used to describe God, nothing and no-one in the Creation has a perichoretic degree of closeness. So, above all, God is relational within Himself.

"Perichoresis" is one of the very few "big" words I remember from Bible college; I can still remember my joy on reading Genesis chapters 1 and 2, and John chapter 1 after learning about perichoresis. Awesome. Father, Son and Holy Spirit together created everything! 

Now I see Jesus all through the Psalms, and our Father's and Holy Spirit's involvement in all Jesus' life and miracles.

It follows, as night follows day, that, because people are made in God's "image and likeness" we too are relational; we must also be love and kindness and be called towards truth and justice. Does this sound like how you want to be? It's only natural that we should, it's how we are made. (See Note 2).

Now I believe that human marriage is the nearest we can ever come to perichoresis, it is a permanent state of commitment, giving, love and intimacy here in the world. This is very precious and delightful, an essential and fulfilling part of God's design.

So our excitement for our son and his fiancé is natural and good .. Praise Jesus.

FAVORITE SCRIPTURE VERSES

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails .." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV).

"The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.  For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.  He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.  And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.  For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him,  and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross" (Colossians 1:15-20 NIV).

"Into Your hands I commit my spirit; You have redeemed me, O Lord, the God of truth and faithfulness" (Psalm 31:5 Amplified).

Note 1: GROUPS

When our kids were still young (Peter and his twin Rebecca may have been just 5 or 6), Trish and I were blessed to hear a number of talks, always by young men or young couples, recommending that teenagers should spend their time with groups of friends rather than seek out one-at-a-time relationships and go through the serial dating-and-breaking-up which is so painful, (even soul destroying), but which seems to be the norm for Western teens over the past two or three of generations.

One guy reminded us that for every single person ever born in the world, God has a plan. If this is so, and it is well accepted amongst Christians, then He will already have our perfect life companion already picked out. 

Wouldn't it be a great idea then to pray into God's plan? To pray for this one girl or boy, starting now, today; praying for their family, that the child would respect their parents and be kind, be a conscientious student, care for their health, brush their teeth, eat properly, learn to say "no" gracefully at appropriate times yet develop a healthy sense of adventure, and care for their spirit and soul too, that they grow to know and love Jesus, and develop rich and healthy friendships ..

Trish and I were amazed at these ideas which sounded so radical, yet for the generations before ours (before the idea of "teenagers" was invented), they would have been considered sensible and normal. So we prayed with our children; we prayed, (and still pray),  for the ones intended by Jesus' plan for our children's good and very productive and satisfying lives .. It made sense to also pray the same thing for our own children so that they would be worthy of these chosen wives-and-husbands-to-be Jesus was watching over, in which-ever family and in what-ever country and people-group they may be!

We also kept talking up this "group-of-friends" idea. When the kids were going out we encouraged them to go with a sibling or two and to think in terms of the group. Even for school dances and balls, we would suggest that the kids got a table together rather than find one special girl or boy and put their entire focus on her or him. Rather that they plan to have a great night with a group of real friends, where everyone makes sure that they all have fun and do plenty of dancing and enjoy the meal together, even hiring a limo so they all travel together.

Well, our efforts seem to have paid off, we're delighted at how our kids have turned out and at the really good decisions they have made. Of course this is not universally so .. we've all had our moments! There has never been a month when we've not had to be parents. There have been sadnesses and mistakes. Well we only have to look at our own lives .. 

We are so grateful to be Christians, that we have our Father in Heaven looking out for us, and Jesus guiding us and ceaselessly praying for each one! We pray blessings into their life choices, and specially into their marriages.

Note 2: PAIN AND EVIL IN THE WORLD

Though God is love, sadly there is more than love in the world. Satan has affected so much, the Bible calls him the "prince of this world" (John 16:11) and "the spirit of the world" (1 Corinthians 2:12), he stands condemned because Jesus paid for all sin when He died on the cross 2000 years ago, but he is still active almost everywhere. We are all affected by this, even the most holy people we know (see Romans 7:14-25). Only in Jesus are we safe. As Christians we have power and authority in the spiritual world over sin and Satan (Luke 10:19, Colossians 2:10).

Note 3: NURTURE

Maggie Dent, an Australian author and broadcaster, discussing "Live Fast, Die Young"  a book and a community program, on Australian Radio ABC1, "Talking Heads", 14th July 2010. Quotes:

"Human connectedness is what keeps us alive. Nothing Else. Relationships".

"So, build pastoral care among our young people. Give them your relationship if there are no others. Make sure they eat properly, get good sleep and laugh. Exhausted, unloved, hungry kids are liable to make crazy, costly decisions".

Kids who have known tough times are often ill equipped for adult life; to have been rescued by someone like Maggie Dent will be much more ready to live a full life and to marry and be a parent. Praise Jesus for big hearts.


Bless us all.
Amen.

Podcast

Podcast on Spotify under PsalmsOfJohn as "In Their Image: Marriage" in February 2023.

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Praise Jesus.