It's Hard Being Christian

Shoulder Rotator Cuff Tear

My left shoulder has been troubling me for most of the year. This escalated when a tendon tore badly as I was loading bikes onto the rack on Tricia's car. I now see that it's hard being Christian when you are in pain and your physical abilities are constrained, and you can't get enough good sleep.

It feels as though the steepness of the "hill of life" has increased, and troubles seem harder to deal with. It is definitely harder to stay cheerful and positive, and to be conscious that I am always with Jesus, and always being cared for and favoured by Him.

But there are plenty of good and lovely things which bring encouragement. Our second son, Daniel, (now Frank, a family name), married Anlia, a radiographer; she operates an MRI machine. She arranged for me to have a shoulder ultrasound scan which would be supervised and reported by the really gun doctor at their practice. He told me "your shoulder is a mess, it has done an awful lot of work; one tendon is broken and another is hanging by a thread".

Then Merci, wife of our fourth son, Peter, stepped in. She's a 

physiotherapist. After reading the report she said: "Wow, it really is a mess. But the damage is mostly to your tendons and we can do good things for that! With correct exercise the muscles which are now weak will become strong and your posture will get better. Together these two changes will improve the mechanics of all your arm movements. You'll be operating more as God intended when He designed and made you; things will be much better".

Well, it took some months but we are now at that point; things are much better; I know I'm stronger, and there is now less pain, (but still enough to be a constant reminder and a bother). I still get less done in a day and do not sleep very well; the pain increases when I lie down (nobody can tell me why this is so), and I keep waking up, so do not get those long periods of deep sleep that we need for our body to repair itself.

I find that it is much harder to stay close to Jesus. This makes no sense .. I have so many great testimonies of how He helped me get beyond serious relational problems, and cancers and heart disease and diabetes and even the scourge of envy when my (until then exciting) career fell apart. I remind myself that I know the truth, and that I have seen many lives radically changed by our lovely Lord .. Despite all this it is hard to stay close ..

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" (Isaiah 40:28-29).

There are so very many places in Scripture where we see Jesus as the most peaceful, kind, gentle and loving guy. (There are also places where He is angry or tough because He is just and He hates injustice). In my heart of hearts I know that if I could just stay snuggled up with Jesus everything would seem easier and my outlook would be brighter.

It's a bit like Martha and Mary in the Bible. Mary wanted to hang out with Jesus and worship Him, and learn about the Kingdom of God; Martha saw all these hospitality and household things that needed doing and pressed into them (Luke 10:40-42). Sure, everybody got fed and had a bed to sleep in, but Jesus is the "bread of life" (John 6:35) and the "light of humankind" (John 1:4) and He helps us with our burdens (Matthew 11:29-30); this is what Mary was seeking. Jesus has promised to meet our needs (Luke 12). Does this mean we'll experience miracles (Matthew 14:20) if we all pour ourselves out to Him? Sometimes "yes", right? But mostly we seem to need to look after the infrastructure and the fabric of our lives or they will quickly unravel .. I've always felt a strong kinship with Martha while admiring Mary's gift for being able to spend those many hours close to Jesus. 

But these days I feel a lot like Martha. At the same time I'm very grateful for the whole-weeks-at-a-time I'm able to head South to the camp by the sea and write. I love Trish and our family very much but those weeks with Jesus are a treasure .. my Mary time .. At home I get caught up in the day-to-day house-husband and Dad  things .. like Martha.

Now, with my shoulder, I find that:

•  I don’t read my Bible as much as I feel I should

•  My prayer life is smaller and with little vision, I'm easily distracted

•  I don’t seek Jesus, or my heavenly Father, enough, I don't hang out as much

•  I feel that I'm not as compassionate or empathetic and am more inward looking

•  It's really hard to help others because I'm tired and less motivated

•  I try to be generous but .. surely ..

•  I'm naturally shy and not good at conversation or “fellowship”.

"I lift up my eyes to you, to you whose throne is in heaven" (Psalm 123:1). Israel would sing "psalms of ascent" when they were walking up the steps to the temple; we know that we are in a better (and higher) place when we are consciously in the presence of God. I know this truth and have affirmed it countless times .. why do I now allow the pain and tiredness to get in the way? Jesus is always with us (Matthew 28:20); I just have to acknowledge this truth.

But it's not all darkness; several times each day I'm encouraged .. Jesus is such a good friend (John 15:15), such a good big brother (Romans 8:15) that even when we wallow in our difficulties He will help by moving things along.

"God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble" (Psalm 46:1).

Hallelujah! Recent Encouragements:

Family

Our Peter and Merci have been exploring the idea of living and working in New York City. Well, Peter now has a job with a big and prestigious advertising agency in their head office on Sixth Avenue. The couple have a tiny apartment in Chinatown, a delightful part of Manhattan, and they are loving it there. While Peter and Merci waited for their visas to be approved they agreed to come and have dinner with Trish and I one night each week. Our family often get together and Trish thought this may be a bit over-the-top but it turned out to be a really special season. I cooked something special each time. So for several weeks we were saturated with family .. It was an outstanding time in our lives. So much love. Many of us spontaneously thanked our heavenly Father for giving us each other. Love, laughter, delightful conversation and wonderful food filled our house. Thank you Jesus for your lovely participation in our lives.

Christian Unity

In Australia we are having a plebiscite, a national survey which will indicate to Government what the people want. The issue is same sex marriage. The Christian churches have really come together to argue and fight for our corner, for God's biblical view on this issue. Over recent years I've been excited about the increasing Christian desire for unity which is reflected in the increase in opportunities to do things together, outside the four walls of our church buildings. But now, during this campaign, our unity has taken on a brilliant new glow. It's really exciting. I have a number of other big projects on-the-go and am often tired yet I'm motivated to join some of the campaign activities. Jesus' life in His people is amazing and encouraging.

Adventure and Growth

Trish went on a 74 kilometre (46 mile) bush walk with the Bible Society as a fundraiser for Chaplains. We have an internationally famous walk here called the Bibbulmun Track (1003 km or 623 mi), and her team walked part of that. I'm notably older than Trish and we have been walking (still together but) different distances for a year or two. But this was something new, her heading off with others to be truly challenged. (Also it is something I used to do before we met). I stayed home and worked on PsalmsOfJohn.com while she walked. It's spring time so there is an explosion of life in Western Australia. Those days she walked were stormy with strong winds and lots of rain. I was praying that none of the wet fronts would occur exactly where Trish and her colleagues were and that they would stay relatively dry. There is no phone coverage in that part of the bush so I heard nothing; when she got home Trish said that they had only got really wet once, at the end of a day when they would be sleeping in a shelter rather than in tents; answered prayer? Jesus is the great creator (John 1:3) and delights in bringing us into greater light (John 1:4). 

Although I don't feel as healthy and robust as I have been, it is lovely to know that Jesus has not forgotten me. Indeed He never forgets any of us once our name is in His book of life (Revelation 3:5)!

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

".. we do not lose heart ..". Thank you Jesus!

Favourite Scriptures

"But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation.  For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Thessalonians 5:8-9). 

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Romans 5:3-4).

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" (Hebrews 12:1).

"because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:3).

"And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among humankind by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12).

"Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.  Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits" (Psalm 103:1-2).

"Simon Peter answered him, 'Lord, who else can we go to? You have the words of eternal life'" (John 6:68).

Amen. Praise Jesus.

Permalink

https://www.psalmsofjohn.com/2017/10/its-hard-being-christian.html

Amen.